i am

I am, a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin and a friend. A partner and a student. A young boy and a grown man. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and caring and thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided and mislead. I am hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the ouside while im hurting on the inside. I listen to others who wont listen to me. I walk on eggshells and i walk on fire. I believe in passion and true love. I am everything and nothing all at once.

decode

In that second, I wished that I was not the one exception to his mysterious talent; I usually felt grateful that I was the only person whose thoughts he couldn’t hear just as clearly as if they were spoken aloud. But now I wished he could hear me, too, so that he could hear the warning I was screaming in my head.

How can I decide what?s right?
When you?re clouding up my mind
I can?t win your losing fight
All the time

Nor could I ever own what's mine
When you?re always taking sides
But you won?t take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time

How did we get here
When I used to know you so well?
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it?s hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can?t see

What kind of man that you are
If you?re a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own

(I'm screaming, I love you so)
On my own
(But my thoughts you can't decode)

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well?
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know

Do you see what we?ve done?
We?re gonna make such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we?ve done?
We?re gonna make such fools of ourselves

How did we get here
When I used to know you so well?
How did we get here
When I used to know you so well?

I think I know
I think I know
There is something I see in you
It might kill me, I want it to be true

having a Coke with you

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne

or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona

partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian

partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt

partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches

partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary

it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still

as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it

in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth

between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint

you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world

except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick

which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time

and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism

just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or

at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me

and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them

when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank

or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience

which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

~ Frank O’Hara

photo of the day: Memoirs of a Geisha my prayers for Japan

my prayers for all Japanese Men and Women who were affected by yesterday's tsunami and earthquake.

Here is one f the reason. I always wanted to visit Japan.



You cannot say to the sun, "More sun." Or to the rain, "Less rain." To a man, geisha can only be half a wife. We are the wives of nightfall. And yet, to learn kindness after so much unkindness, to understand that a little girl with more courage than she knew, would find her prayers were answered, can that not be called happiness? After all these are not the memoirs of an empress, nor of a queen. These are memoirs of another kind.

if you forget me

uI want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look  at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch  near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine. 

a poem by Pablo Neruda 

What if...

What if you pack up your bags and go to Mt. Abu

and there you meet someone like you

What if he likes you and you like him too

and his odd and amusing story about his Lolo.

What if he starts to sing

and then you start believing

What if you forget everything

and he reminds you it's nothing.

What if he snaps and bites

and you feel no pain

What if he offers you candy delights

and not that castle in Spain

What if you unanticipatedly feel sunny

and all around you is joy.

and swiftly......

What if he asks you for money

for he sees himself as your new toy?

repost from http://lastresestrellas.blogspot.com/

the incidentals

It's just the little things
the incidentals it's like you would- n't even notice
when you really turn me on
it's the little sparks that fly and then land
like dynamite

it's just, it's just the simple things
pure incidentals it's like
staying up till midnight and talking about
absolutely nothing,
it's the thought that it'll always be
as wild as i expect it to be yeah

ooh you know it's la la la la love
when you dream
a monster just swallowed you up and
you don't wanna be saved
ooh and i am crazy bout you babe
you satisfy me in so many ways, so
many ways

but it's just the little things
the incidentals it's like you wouldn't
even notice
when you are really turning me on
it's those little sparks that fly and then land
like dyamite
it's just, it's just, the simple things
pure incidentals it's like breathing on the back
of my neck and
making me feel weak inside
it's no, no matter how scared i am
i know i'll be safe tonight.

Letting Go

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk  away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you , loving you , calling you , caring about you , coming to see you , staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.  Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that , they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us , no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you.  And if they are not joined to you , you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got
to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you  something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift , I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful , it's that I'm  faithful , and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.  And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong  to you and was never intended for your life ,  
then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right , love you back , and
see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you! u have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take  you to a new level in Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken  relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try  to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself  and God is saying "take your hands off of it , "   then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.  GOD is doing a new thing  NOW  !!!


LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left  .. think about it , and then .

LET IT GO!!!

best movie line

I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds.  there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Unsent Letters

Unsent" is a song by Alanis Morissette on her 1998 album, Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. It was released as the album's third single on March 18, 1999 and was not as successful as Morissette's earlier singles. It was one of the few Junkie tracks on which she played her harmonica. Morissette directed the music video for the song.

thanks wikepedia

This song captured my heart for the longest time. I can truly relate to what Ms. Morissette. I made my Own version. feel free to sing along with me..

Dear Louise

I like you a lot

I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now and I

respect that

I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future

and want to come visit me in my station I would be open to spending

time with you

and finding out how old you were when you choreographed your first dance

Dear Paul

I liked you too much

I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me and think solely

about themselves

and you were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time

I used to say the more tragic the better the truth is whenever I think

of the early years here at work

you face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday

Dear Jeri

I love you muchly

you've been nothing but open hearted and emotionally available and

supportive

and

nurturing and consummately there for me I kept drawing you in and

pushing you

away

I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch and cry

in front

of you for the first time

you were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself what was

wrong with me?

Dear Mc

You rocked my world

you had a charismatic way about you with the men and

you got me seriously thinking about spirituality and you wouldn't let

me get

away with kicking me own ass

but I would never really feel relaxed and looked out for around you

though

and that stopped us from going any further than we did

and it's kinda too bad because we could've had much more fun

Dear Anton

We learned so much

I realize we won't be able to talk for some time and I understand that

as I do

you

the long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could

we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives

I will always have your back and be curious about you about your

career your

whereabouts